No Character Comic

I’m having serious issues with my home internet that are making it nearly impossible for me to upload comics. 

Rest assured that once I get back online the comics for the missed days will be uploaded along with the new ones. 

Sorry for the inconvinience.

Well, not the whole thing, just a very special one.

The comic for the 29th, A series of Fridges, will be auctioned off for Charity: Water at tonight’s Brisbane Twestival.

I’ll post something more interesting tonight from the event itself. At the moment I’m feeling some abusive self hatred coming from my stomach. I’ve been ignoring it since Tuesday.

News post over at Websinthe. These bushfires are the worst I’ve ever seen in my life. I may be young, but here in Australia, 23 years is a lot of bushfire.

I’m going to try cartooning this. I won’t say comic. There won’t be anything even remotely funny about it.

You can see the comments to which today’s comic refers at the Herald Sun website.

My time studying economics was not wasted; I know that the prudential regulation in this country is a damn site better than is the case in the United States of Kablammo, but I still feel that tooting one’s own horn so loudly at what amounts to an ivory tower is just a little presumptuous.

It’s fantastic that other nations have apparently credited us with an enviable banking system, but still, the fiery red head that holds our nation’s unions by the pubes has still run rough-shod over the etiquette of not being an arrogant sod. Even King K Rudd has openly admonished our banking system and decided it’s time for an overhaul.

This is perhaps a little unfair but if you want reasoned argument you can find me over at my blog. Here I sit with an eye patch and moustache, the evil dimensional twin of Kieran Salsone.

You can read a vastly more authoritive opinion, and one that I generally agree with, over at John Quiggin’s blog.

And before you go asking me why I agree with him and under which economic models I base my opinion, stop. It’s for one pure, simple and undeniable reason…

…his wife makes the best damn pancakes I’ve ever had.

Don’t be upset if you didn’t get ALL of the references in this comic. There’s just some things that take too long to explain.

Atkinson is South Australia’s Attorney General and is best known for being a prudish block to progressive thought. His latest defence of boredom and monotony was to respond to GameSpot UK’s request for an interview with what basically amounts to a form letter.

Comments such as…

Some games, such as Grand Theft Auto IV, have been modified to meet Australian standards. The present system encourages game developers to consider what is appropriate for an MA15+ rating and adjust their product accordingly. Sometimes this modified version has become the internationally distributed version.

…make one seriously wonder if Atkinson, somewhere in that grey flannel mind of his, actually believes that he is saving the world from violent computer games.

I have three sons who regularly play computer games at home–the eldest is now 22. I see my children become physically and emotionally obsessed with games, and it is difficult to drag them away from the gaming console.

Mike! How can we take you seriously as a defender of the children when you can’t even raise your own properly? If your 22 year old son is becoming obsessed with computer games, it’s because you’ve failed to raise them with one iota of love for this world. You’re responsible for the law and order of an entire state and yet you fail to inspire even your own sons!

When I was studying Sociology, one of the things that stuck in my mind was the assertion that the only way to destroy a culture is stagnation. If you’ve been to Adeleide recently and more specifically the city, you will have seen the violent effects of city-wide boredom amongst youths. I have never once been threatened with physical violence by a stranger in the 20 years I’ve lived in Brisbane.

It took me 2 hours in Adelaide for my fiance and I to be chased by drunken idiots and nearly beaten.

Statistics which I will quote on a more politically focused website will show you that violent crime has dropped with the increase of violent computer games.

Mr Atkinson, idle hands do the devil’s work. You have wrought such an atmosphere.

P.S. If he does comment here, I bet he tries misdirection.

I have roughly 7 minutes before this post is over due.

Australia is one of the better countries in which to live. We take our freedom from danger for granted in a world where daily, citizens of other countries such as Sri Lanka, East Timor and Sudan are faced with appalling violence and terror. For this we must be grateful.

This is the kind of sentiment that, while valid, really helps opiate us against perfecting our own society. While we may have a human responsibility to improve the lot of other people, we really can’t allow that to distract us from cleaning our own nest first.

I’m sure that those conservatives who are taking an active interest in Australia’s politics relish the idea that we jump up and down about other nations’ misfortune. Lambast me for suggesting a conservative conspiracy as much as you want, I’m not really all that convinced myself. My point here is that we can’t let our own country go to shit because we’re too busy being grateful we aren’t somewhere else.

Also, penis.

The boys have had many things thrown at them since the comic started. Big Daddies, homocidal robots and deranged demon senators have all threatened the way of life here at the No Character institute.

Now for their greatest threat: a female housemate.

Madeline is Jeff’s 23 year old younger sister and, as such, has serious behavioural problems such as…

Sorry, they’ll come out eventually.

Despite my distaste for mathematics, I have always been fond of the words “approaching zero” as in the odds of something “approaching zero” or some mathematical estimation of a profoundly abstract numeric problem requiring that something be “approaching zero”. I must admit, the amount of effort I put into today’s strip was indeed approaching zero.

If you hadn’t already noticed, I’ve put a donate button on the right hand sidebar of the site. It would be nice to see even amounts “approaching zero” donated, but $5 dollars here or there makes a huge difference to both the continuity and quality of the comic. PayPal is remarkably secure and the money will go straight to the “Help Kieran Keep Cartooning Because He Doesn’t Need To Get A Day Job” Fund for wayward cartoonists.

By the way, I’m aware that today’s comic is offensive. Do you honestly believe I’m being serious? If you do, feel free to comment here. I assure you that your opinion is greatly appreciated and that I will listen to every. single. word. you. say.

Honestly, I will.

I’m hoping to God that this is a spoof, if not, it’s hilarious to see just how far parenting in the United States has slipped. Honestly, this woman should be in jail for sheer ignorance of decent parenting practise. Epic Over-reaction, Dena Moir, the world would frown on you if it could stop laughing at you.

In the meantime, it appears that the youth of Sweden have the right idea. Ung Pirat, the youth wing of the Swedish Pirate Party, has just landed a $1.3 million grant from the government to help build the politicians of tomorrow. I think it’s good that the wowsers over there have less sway than here. In Australia, not only would the grant money have been denied, most of these people would have been arrested.

With anti-piracy campaigning pretty much the most evil movement since Zionism, it’s good to see that Valve is showing some real sense in the issue.

It would appear, however, that the USA isn’t completely doomed. Obama is working on lifting a Bush ban on Stem Cell research.

Okay, maybe the USA should be doomed with clowns like these.

Oh praise be to God, Allah, Buddah and the Flying Spaghetti Monster! If all goes to plan, Nocharacter.net should be a fully functioning website by Saturday.

In recognition of this momentous occasion, I’ll be going back through all of my previous strips. As I do this, I will change them all over to PNG instead of that truly horrible excuse for a file format known as jpeg. Not only this, but I will endeavour to add a post for most, if not all, of those strips.

I will also be releasing the 2008 strips as an archive for download. Who knows, there might even be a few surprises in the archive. Good ones, the kind of ones that makes you glad you blew some download on my beligerantly awesome webcomic.